Be in the now.

When Wesley goes down for a nap, I have to be cuddling him or he won't fall asleep. I have to be as close to him as possible, it's really quite cute. It makes me feel so loved & needed. But I will admit, there are times when I have thought to myself, "I wish he would just go to sleep on his own. I have things I should be getting done." Then today, after I fed him his bottle & he fell asleep in my arms, I started to think of how I was gonna get out of the bed without waking him up. I began to move my arm out from underneath him, when he woke up & just stared at me.. like he was making sure I was still there. He started to doze off again but then opened his eyes a few more times just to make sure I was still there with him. In that moment, I realized something important. I realized I shouldn't be focusing on what needs to get done around the house.. I realized I shouldn't be thinking about the shows on Netflix I could be watching. Because this little five-month-old boy of mine will never be this little again. He will grow up so fast & one day I will miss this time of our lives more than anything. Someday he'll be twelve & he will think cuddling his mama is weird. Someday he'll be eighteen & he'll be too busy with school and his friends to cuddle his mama. Someday he'll be twenty-five & he'll have a wife to cuddle instead. & that's okay... But for now, cuddling him while he sleeps should be something I don't take for granted. It should be something I really let soak in. It should be something I make sure I'm "in the now" for. Because this little boy of mine won't always need me the way he does now.